Yes, its actually happening. Yesterday, we bought tickets...we leave in 8 DAYS!!!
*Deep Breath... (that was for me, not you!) :)
I'm waffling between excitement and panic...kind of like the feeling you have when you reach the top of a roller coaster "mountain" right before you take the seemingly out of control plunge. We've been at that place a few times on this journey...
Had a conversation tonight that went like this...
Erin: "I'm feeling some anxiety..."
Don: "About what?"
Erin: I rattle off the list...
Don: "Yep"
Erin: "Do you ever mentally step back out of the details to look a the high level picture of what we're doing and think to yourself...THIS IS CRAZY!?!"
Don: "Yep"
Erin: "I feel like I am not in control of ANYTHING right now!"
Don: "Your not..."
Erin: Humph... "I need more control...I would feel better with more control..."
Don: No you wouldn't...
Erin: "I know..."
I love that man...he's SO good for me!
This journey is a daily surrender... I have no control... There are times I want to grasp for more. I think we'll be fine if it could only look a certain way... In those moments I have choices. I can give into the fear and anxiety that we are going to get on a plane in 8 days...and land in a foreign country...with only half of what we need and much more of what we don't... (which I anticipate will be true!) or I can choose to move past the fear into the arms of Jesus. I can cling to the truth that WHEN I find myself in the "out of control" situation, Jesus will be right there, FULLY in control. He specializes in my free falls. He's glorified when I obediently follow Him into a situation I'm not in control of and walk it in total dependence on Him. Plunging over the roller coaster mountain doesn't mean I'm plunging into unknown, it means I'm plunging into HIS endless arms of grace and love. Today I'm choosing that truth. I pray that will be true of my heart on more days...
More of you Jesus...I want more of you...
*Deep breath...
Here we go!
(side note: I ALWAYS scream going down roller coaster mountains... You may want to plug your ears!)
We are very proud of you guys and we are praying for your family as you make this transition. Love from the Elsberrys.
ReplyDeletethis made me cry! i love you so much and am so proud of you! "He specializes in my free falls" LOVE IT :)
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'll be screaming right with you! We are feeling a little of the same things. Totally understand. Totally in free-fall with you. Totally going to loose our voices together!
ReplyDeleteWe are there with you also. What an exciting adventure you are going on. All of the things you encounter will all be "firsts" as you go through your settling time. Relish every moment. You will see God in everything as you encounter trials and inconveniences. God bless you both and your little ones as you do your "free fall." We love you so much and you are in our prayers daily!!!
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